Questions to ask your grandparents

By Sanjay Bhagia · 1 November 2026

Most of us mean to ask our grandparents about their lives, and put it off. Then one day it's too late, and the stories go with them. You don't need to be a journalist to do this well. You need a few good questions, a quiet hour, and a way to keep what they tell you.

How do you interview a grandparent?

• Pick one topic per conversation. Childhood one week, work the next. It's less tiring, and you get more depth.
• Bring old photos. Nothing brings memories back like a face. Ask "who's this?" and let them talk.
• Ask open questions. "What was your house like?" gets a story. "Did you have a big house?" gets "yes".
• Follow up. The best material comes after "what happened next?" and "how did that feel?".
• Let silences sit. People often add the important part after a pause.
• Don't correct them. If a date seems wrong, note it and check later.
• Speak their language. Ask in the language they're most comfortable in, even if a relative has to help.

How should you record the conversation?

A phone is enough. Use the voice recorder app, or video if they're comfortable with it. Ask permission first, and tell them what the recording is for. Sit somewhere quiet, away from the television and the kitchen, and put the phone close to them, not to you. Do a ten-second test and play it back. Make sure the phone has battery and space.

At the start, say the date, who's speaking and where. It sounds formal, but future listeners will thank you. If you're talking over a video call, many call apps can record with everyone's permission, and someone in the room can hold old photos up to the camera.

Questions about childhood

1. Where and when were you born? What do you know about the day?
2. What was the house you grew up in like? Can you walk me through it?
3. Who lived in the house with you?
4. What's your earliest memory?
5. What games did you play, and who with?
6. What did your family eat on an ordinary day? On a special day?
7. Were you ever in trouble as a child? What for?
8. What did you want to be when you grew up?

Questions about their parents and family

9. What were your parents' full names, and where were they from?
10. What did your parents do for a living?
11. What was your mother like? Your father?
12. Do you remember your grandparents? What were they like?
13. How many brothers and sisters did you have? What were they like as children?
14. Which relatives were you closest to?
15. Are there family stories that were told again and again?

Questions about school and growing up

16. Where did you go to school? How did you get there?
17. Which teacher do you remember most, and why?
18. What were you good at? What did you hate?
19. Who were your best friends? Did you stay in touch?
20. What did you do for fun as a teenager?
21. When did you first feel grown up?

Questions about work

22. What was your first job? How much were you paid?
23. What work did you do for most of your life?
24. What was a normal working day like?
25. What are you proudest of in your working life?
26. Was there a job you wanted and didn't get, or one you left?

Questions about love and marriage

27. How did you meet Grandma (or Grandpa)?
28. What did you first think of them?
29. Was your marriage arranged, or did you choose each other? How did the families feel?
30. What was your wedding like? Who was there?
31. Where did you live when you were first married?
32. What's the secret to staying together, if there is one?

Questions about moving and places

33. Which places have you lived in? Which felt most like home?
34. Did your family ever move to a new city or country? Why?
35. What was the journey like? What did you bring with you?
36. What did you miss most about the place you left?
37. What surprised you about the new place?

Questions about raising a family

38. What do you remember about the day my parent was born?
39. What were my parents and aunts and uncles like as children?
40. What was hardest about raising children then?
41. What family traditions did you start, or keep going?
42. What's a funny story about my parent that they wouldn't tell me?

Questions about history they lived through

43. What big events do you remember from your lifetime? Where were you?
44. How did those events change your family's life?
45. What's changed most between your childhood and now?
46. What was the first time you saw a television, a telephone or an aeroplane?

Questions about traditions, food and faith

47. Which festivals or holidays did your family celebrate, and how?
48. What dishes did your mother or grandmother make? Can you tell me how?
49. What part did faith play in your family growing up?
50. Were there songs, sayings or prayers your family always used?

Questions to look back on

51. What are you most grateful for?
52. What was the happiest time of your life?
53. Is there anything you'd do differently?
54. What do you hope your grandchildren and great-grandchildren know about you?
55. What advice would you give me?

What about difficult memories?

Some elders lived through war, partition, migration, poverty or the loss of a child. Those stories matter, and they can also hurt to tell. Let them lead. If they change the subject, follow. If they want to talk, listen without rushing to the next question. You can always come back another day.

How do you keep the answers safe?

• Label the files straight away: who, when, and the topic. "nani_2026-11-01_childhood.m4a" will still make sense in twenty years.
• Back them up in at least two places, one outside your home.
• Write it down. Recordings are hard to search and easy to never play. Automatic transcription tools can give you a rough draft; correct the names and places by hand.
• Turn it into a story. A page about their life, in their own words where you can, is what grandchildren will actually read.
• Connect it to the photos. Note who they named in each picture, and caption the photos with it.
• Share copies with the rest of the family, so it isn't all on your phone.

In Kumbaa, the written story goes on that person's page in your family's private archive, next to their portrait, dates and every photo they're in, and relatives can add the stories they remember. Kumbaa doesn't store audio or video yet, so keep the recordings backed up separately. Our page on saving grandparents' stories says more about why we built it, and the guides to digitizing photos and making a family tree cover the next steps.